Holding Steady in the Storm: A DBT Approach to Uncertainty

The unknown is something our brains were never designed to handle easily. We crave predictability because it helps us feel prepared — and preparation offers a sense of control, even if that control is only imagined. Right now, there’s a great deal happening in our world that fuels uncertainty. Closer to home, the ongoing teachers’ strike in Alberta has created a cloud of unpredictability and unease for many.

Whether you’re a teacher, a parent, a student, a friend stepping in to provide child care, or a small business owner noticing changes in the community, we’re all affected in different ways. As writer Damien Barr reflected during the pandemic, “We are not all in the same boat. We are all in the same storm. Some are on super-yachts. Some have just the one oar.” Still, the one thing we all share in this storm is the discomfort of the unknown. Sitting in uncertainty for any length of time can stir up unease, worry, and even anxiety.

While we can’t control the unknown itself (as is true with the teachers’ strike), we can learn to manage our emotions, thoughts, and urges in response to it.

Here are five DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) skills to help you navigate uncertainty without making things worse, or creating new problems along the way.

Focus on the Basics

When life gets hard, one of the first things we tend to let slide are the basics, things like sleep, nutrition, movement, and fresh air. Before you roll your eyes and skip this section, hear me out. We know these habits are good for us, especially for physical health, but it’s surprisingly easy to put them off when their benefits aren’t immediately obvious.

For example, if I skip exercise for a few days, I might not notice a big physical difference right away. But mentally? Absolutely. I have less patience, less focus, and I’m more reactive to strong emotions. The same goes for sleep — one restless night might not change how my body feels, but everyone around me can tell my mood has taken a hit.

It’s not glamorous advice, but getting enough rest, nourishing your body, moving regularly, breathing fresh air, and getting sunlight (yes, literally in your eyeballs!) are non-negotiables for good mental health.

The good news? You don’t need to do them all perfectly or even all at once. Small improvements in one area often have ripple effects in others. Progress matters more than perfection.

When stress is high, it’s tempting to stay up late watching “just one more” episode (because self-care, right?), toss some dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets in the oven (also self-care?), or skip exercise for sleep (definitely self-care). The truth is, easy doesn’t always equal Small, doable shifts in the basics can make a bigger difference than you think

Radically Accept Things as They Are

Radical acceptance means fully acknowledging reality as it is without trying to change it, deny it, or fight against it. The goal isn’t approval or agreement; it’s to reduce the extra layer of suffering that comes from resisting what’s true. Easier said than done, right? Yet when we’re able to practice this skill, the results can be surprisingly powerful.

During times of uncertainty, the hardest part is often accepting the unknowns and recognizing that some things are simply beyond our control. Feelings like anger, bitterness, or resentment are often clues that we haven’t yet reached acceptance. You might catch yourself thinking, “This isn’t fair,” or “It shouldn’t be this way.” Those reactions are completely human. But radical acceptance invites us to step out of judgment and into simple acknowledgment of the facts.

If we take the current Alberta teachers’ strike as an example. A teacher practicing radical acceptance might say: “I am on strike. I don’t know when it will end. I’m not being paid right now. I don’t have direct control over the decisions being made.” Those are the facts. Thinking about how unfair it feels, how it could have been avoided, or how frustrating the messaging has been might all be valid, but those thoughts don’t change the reality of what is. They also add suffering to our current moment.

When we can see and name things as they are, without judgment, we create space to choose how to respond. That’s where our power lies – not in changing what we can’t control, but in reclaiming our energy for what we can.

Do One Thing You Enjoy Each Day

When life feels stressful or uncertain, we tend to focus on what we have to do — responsibilities, to-do lists, and problem-solving. That makes sense. But in the process, we often forget that we still matter, and our needs are important too. Those needs might include having fun, remembering who we are outside of stress, or simply giving our minds a break. Many of these needs can be met by scheduling just one thing each day that we genuinely enjoy.

The key word here is schedule. If we treat pleasant activities as something we’ll do if we have time, they likely won’t happen. Making time for them (the same way we’d schedule a doctor’s appointment or coffee with a friend) helps ensure they actually do.

Before scheduling, take a moment to brainstorm what brings you enjoyment. Make a list. If you’re not sure where to start, Google “pleasant activities list” or reach out — I’m happy to send you some ideas. It’s okay if you’re out of practice or unsure what feels fun right now. Once you have your list, add one activity into your calendar each day.

For example, I like to plan mine on Sundays when I’m looking at the week ahead. On busier days, it might be something simple like trying a new tea while reading a chapter of my book, or calling a friend for 15 minutes. On slower days, I might plan a hike, do some gardening, or bake a new sweet treat. The point is to commit and pick a day and time (or even a general window if specifics feel overwhelming), and then follow through. Sharing your plan with a friend or family member can also help with accountability.

Not only does scheduling pleasant activities give you something to look forward to, but research shows it can counter inactivity, lift your mood, and increase motivation, all of which support better overall well-being.

Ride the Waves of your Emotions

Ride the Wave is one of my favorite DBT skills because it teaches you to face strong emotions without getting swept away by them. Just like an ocean wave, emotions rise, peak, and eventually fall (even the intense ones). The goal isn’t to fight the feeling or make it disappear, but to simply notice it, give it permission to hang out with you, tolerate the sensations that come with it and be present with it all until it reaches the shore and passes This skill reminds us that emotions are temporary, even though they can feel like they’ll last forever. Over time, riding the wave helps us respond more calmly instead of reacting impulsively and builds trust in our bodies and minds to handle intense emotions.

The simplest way to practice this is to say to yourself, “Ride the Wave,” whenever a big emotion hits. This serves as a gentle reminder that even if you do nothing, the feeling will pass. Personally, I like to visualize myself on a boogie board riding an actual wave. I imagine a beautiful, empty beach with warm sun, soft sand, and a sideways-growing palm tree perfect for lounging. (Yes, I’ve done this enough to have my own emotional support beach!)

As my real-life emotion intensifies, I picture a growing wave on the horizon. When it gets closer and my bodily sensations increase, I prepare to catch it and ride all the way to the shore. As I cruise toward my favorite tree, the intensity of the emotion begins to decrease. Sometimes I ride the wave once or twice before the emotion passes completely; other times, my big feeling and I hang out a little longer. Either way, I stay present, knowing the wave will eventually reach the shore.

Relax

Okay, stick with me on this one — I’m not saying “just relax.” That’s about as helpful as being told to calm down. When we’re facing a stressful, ongoing situation, our bodies literally hold that stress. Thinking it away won’t release it. That means we need to help our bodies physically relax and let go of tension.

Here are a few strategies you could try:

• Slow, intentional breathing — Practice paced breathing or try the physiological sigh to help your body signal safety.
• Progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) — Systematically tense and release muscles throughout your body. Pairing this with breathing can be even more effective. Pro tip: look for a PMR video on YouTube with a soothing voice you enjoy. This is especially helpful before bed if you struggle to fall asleep.
• Shake the tension out — Literally shake your body to release stress. Dancing works too!
• Gentle massage — Use your hands, a foam roller, or a massage tool to ease tight areas.
• Warm baths or hot tubs — Heat helps relax muscles and calm your nervous system.

These strategies aren’t about ignoring stress — they’re about giving your body permission to let go so you can feel more grounded, even in challenging circumstances.

These skills aren’t magic. They won’t make everything perfect overnight. But they help you ride the wave of uncertainty instead of getting swept away. Each wave you ride means you are tolerating the emotions and thoughts that come with uncertainty. Each time you use a skill, you’re building resilience, managing your emotions, and taking care of your mental health, even when the unknown feels uncomfortable.